Research by Jordan and Monin (2008) reveals that individuals who frequently engage in moral grandstanding tend to be more selfish when unobserved. They exploit social norms for personal gain and mask their lack of integrity with a polished façade. Here are six telltale signs to help you spot a hypocrite:
1. Gossiping as a Habit
Hypocrites often indulge in gossip—not just for entertainment, but as a way to soothe their own insecurities. According to Robbins and Karan (2019), chronic gossipers tend to experience higher levels of anxiety and low self-esteem. They tear others down to feel superior, whereas genuinely kind people may offer constructive feedback but rarely resort to slander.
2. Selective Kindness Based on Power
One of the most obvious traits is their tendency to “kiss up, kick down.” They’re overly polite and deferential to those in power, yet dismissive or rude to those they perceive as beneath them. This behavior reflects the “status effect” in social psychology. Susan Fiske (2010) found that people who favor high-status individuals often lack empathy, viewing others through a lens of utility rather than dignity.
3. Resentment Toward Others’ Success
Instead of feeling inspired by others’ achievements, hypocrites feel threatened. To protect their fragile egos, they resort to criticism and envy. Leon Festinger’s social comparison theory (1954) explains that people with low self-esteem often compare themselves to others in ways that breed jealousy, while those with inner strength use others’ success as motivation.
4. Help That Comes With Strings Attached
Hypocrites only offer help when it benefits them—be it money, status, or recognition. If there’s nothing to gain, they disappear. This behavior aligns with egoistic motivation, as described by Batson (1991), which suggests that true compassion is the only driver of unconditional altruism. Without empathy, helping becomes a transactional act.
5. Craving Attention
Even minor accomplishments become a stage for self-promotion. Their self-worth hinges on external validation. Campbell and Foster (2007) found that narcissistic individuals often lose touch with their core values, prioritizing public image over genuine connection. In contrast, sincere people care most about the opinions of those they truly love—not the applause of strangers.
6. Big Promises, Little Action
Hypocrites talk a big game but rarely follow through. They make grand promises, yet abandon them when things get tough. This is a form of “moral illusion”—a strategy to build a noble image while concealing real shortcomings. Baumeister (2001) showed that boastful individuals often lack perseverance and quit when the rewards vanish. Meanwhile, honest people may promise less, but when they do, they commit wholeheartedly.